Normally, I wouldnt sit around and mope about things for an extended period of time. Ive got exes who I no longer know where they are or what they are doing. Ive got a biological father who I have nothing to do with, I never have and never will - my father is the man who raised me from my first days and thats all I need. But I had a person who other than having an intimate relationship with, was my soul mate. Now we no longer speak, no matter how much I have tried. Everyday I always wonder where are they know? How are they doing? Did they finish their degree? Always wondering - day after day & night after night. Its truly worse than any other heartache and never in all my life have I shed so many tears over something that has been going on so long. I realize today that no matter how many times I write or try to call or text that none of it matters. Its time to stop waiting for a call that isnt going to come…. its finally time to say - ENOUGH IS ENOUGH JESS!
So ill put on a smile and go on my life as I alwahs have. I have a lot of great people in my life - new and old…. and if I keep dwelling on this, id be kissing all of them goodbye too. Putting on the tough girl act and falling apart every other night just isnt working for me anymore - its time to let go. To move on. I dont need to forget because I know that will never happen but just let go….